Bulletin From Bromham: Dateline
– Sunday 12th February 2017
Here is our weekly round-up of events from Bromham:
1. After
furious exchanges in the recent Parish Council meeting, it has been decided not
to invite that bloke from Wiltshire Council to address the village after
all. The squeaker of the Council, Mr
John Berk, raised both boos and cheers on Tuesday when he said that he did not
feel it appropriate to extend an invitation to a man who was reputed to be a carrot-snaffler,
a goat-nadgerer, and a serial horse-massager.
2. And
the columns of the Bromham Bugle have been alive with letters both supporting and
denigrating football star David Fuckem whose leaked emails appeared to suggest
that he was unhappy with never having been awarded the Freedom of Bromham. Mr Fuckem’s agent, Hugh Jarse, defended his
client, saying that “Brand Fuckem” is still alive and well, quoting Mr Fuckem’s
extensive charity work with under-privileged village urchins, mud-larks and ne’er-do-wells. His wife, the stick-insect, Victoria Fuckem
was not available for comment. The
village issued a sigh of relief.
3.
For
details of these and all other Bromham stories, don’t forget to listen to local
radio station Carrot FM.
Copyright
Andy Fawthrop 2017
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