Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Monday
23rd October 2017
Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
1. Storm
Brian whirled into D-Town yesterday causing widespread mayhem and panic. In Long Street a rubbish bin was blown
slightly to the right. On the Crammer
the rowing boats had to cope with waves almost four inches high. But there were no shipwrecks, and nobody
drownded – in fact nothing to laugh at all.
And at Number 87 High Street Mrs Eileen Dover noticed that the cat-flap
in her kitchen door was making a bit of a noise. Coming as it did exactly thirty years after
the Great Hurricane of 1987, residents had feared the worst. However Brian proved to be a bit of a
pussycat. Future storms code-named
Cecil, Daisy, Eamonn and Fanny are not expected to imbue much in the way of
terror. A storm later in the named
sequence, Skull-Smasher, is however expected to be a bit more of a problem.
2. Whilst
Brian was still putting his trousers on, that one-woman hysterical storm that
is Ophelia was busy causing mayhem by picking up a bit of Saharan dust on the
way through and turning The Vize’s sky a bit orangey. Some thought it was more sort of yellowey,
others that it was “just a bit dark”.
The local branch of the Armageddon-Is-Coming Society naturally went into
its twice-yearly meltdown, but yet again was disappointed with the outcome of
Monday when the End Of Days turned out to be merely a normal Tuesday.
3.
For
details of these and all other Devizes stories, don’t forget to listen to local
radio station D-Town F-Off.
Copyright
Andy Fawthrop 2017
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