Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday
1st October 2017
Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
1. The
death was announced this week of Hugh Jarse, publisher, bon viveur,
entrepreneur , and porn industry king at the age of sixty-nine (or
“soixante-neuf” as he liked to claim).
Variously claimed to be a liberator of pubic morals, D-Town playboy, and
publisher of the hugely controversial naked centre-fold spreads in the Gazette
& Herald (The Vize edition), he ended his days in relative obscurity,
working as a checkout operator in Morrisons.
No barcodes were harmed in the reporting of this story.
2. The
party political conference season is now in full swing. D-Town is under full military lock-down as it
hosts the annual meeting of the Torpid, Rather Indifferent & Politically
Evasive party (TRIPE) in the public bar of The Mangy Mongrel in Haemorrhoid Street. At least two police officers have offered to “keep
an eye” on the place, just in case trouble breaks out. This is thought to be most likely when it is
time for the leader, Ivor Biggun, to get his round in. The bar-keeper’s name is Mike.
3.
For
details of these and all other Devizes stories, don’t forget to listen to local
radio station D-Town F-Off.
Copyright
Andy Fawthrop 2017
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