Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 16th December
2018
Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
1.
Outrage
erupted during the week when the D-Town Gamers’ Club was split by what was
variously described as “a shameless power play”, a “cynical exercise in
manipulation” and “a right tosser”.
Local lad Hugh Jarse refused to roll his dice in a semi-final play-off
game of Monopoly, on the basis that his opponent held all the money and all the
properties. He therefore felt that he
could not possibly win. He asked for the
game to be postponed until January when, he hoped, the whole hopeless position
might have inexplicably changed.
2. And in a further shock
move, supermarkets in D-Town have apparently just realised that it might be
Christmas shortly. Huge stocks of
over-priced “special” comestibles were being wheeled in through the warehouse
doors, and piled high in the aisles. This will enable shoppers to buy large
quantities of things that they cannot possibly eat until they have exceeded
their use-by dates, and have deteriorated into a putrefying mess on the bottom
shelf of the fridge. The almost-24 hours
of closure means that people need to buy enough food to last an army for three
weeks. Easter eggs are expected to be on
sale early on Boxing Day morning.
Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2018
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