Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 17th February
2019
Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
1.
D-Town
was clearly divided in its opinions this week when it was reported in the local
rag (The D-Town Dog-Botherer & Herald) that a feral teenager, who had
previously left her family home in the borough in order to be with her feckless
boyfriend in the terrorist state of Outer Trowvegas, announced that now she was
pregnant with da yoof’s child, she wished to return to the warmth and comfort of
her parents’ home. She claimed that, as
a 15-year old, she had been “groomed” with promises of deep-crust pizza and
alcopops, but the her parents countered this claim as fanciful, stating that
she had simply never liked being forced to eat her vegeatables.
2. And shock and dismay greeted the news that local transport
company StuffMyBus had gone into receivership, cancelling all journeys on the
bus network, and stranding passengers in such exotic and foreign locations as
Swine-don, Chip-Hole and Trow-Vegas. The
company had been struggling recently, running services at less than 40%
capacity, occasionally only fulfilling journeys on more remote routes carrying
only one man and his dog. The dog was
not available for comment.
Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2019
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