Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 10th July 2022
Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
1. Party politics have been moving quickly this week in D-Town. Only days after the Council leader declared that under no circumstances would he resign from office, and having chained himself to his own bicycle with a pair of bent cycle-clips, Beau Joe was carried kicking and screaming out of the Council chamber. Finally, after being pacified by the promise of champagne and a sticky bun, he was persuaded to give his resignation speech. In this he was defiant to the end, failing to apologise or to accept any responsibility. But, as one commentator was heard to observe “when the turd moves, the turd moves”.
2. But, in an attempt to distract the population from paying any attention to anything that’s actually important, there was a tennis tournament held in Hillworth Park. Almost seven people attended, and had great fun watching players abusing umpires and officials, hitting balls at the ball-boys, and spitting into the crowd. Small, overpriced trays of strawberries and cream were on sale, together with glasses of warm prosecco. And, as the sun slowly set behind the courts, the only sound was that of the local yoof engaged in the pizza-eating, coke-snorting and underage-drinking semi-finals.
Copyright Andy
Fawthrop 2022
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