Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 17th July 2022
Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
1. Citizens
of D-Town have been aghast this week to observe the antics involved in the
undemocratic and unedifying sight of the Town Clowncil leadership contest,
wondering who the few hundred braying gammons and their wives might be
supporting. The runners and riders in
this race so far include:
a. A
signed, but sadly stained, 1980 picture of Margaret Thatcher;
b. Two
matching pairs of Michael Gove under-crackers;
c. A
top hat that once belonged to Jacob Rees-Mogg;
d. A
part-used blue-covered cheque-book for an overdrawn account;
e. A steaming pile of fresh manure with a Union Jack planted atop;
2. And the local population have been once again surprised and shocked to find that, even though it is now Summer, the temperatures have gone up a little. Overcoats, hats, scarves and long trousers have been shed in favour of t-shirts, shorts, flip-flops and (unfortunately) thongs. The Clowncil have been at the fore-front of issuing beyond-obvious warnings to “try and keep cool”, “don’t get too hot”, “drink plenty of liquids” and (most importantantly) “do not insert frozen potatoes up your anus”.
Copyright Andy
Fawthrop 2022
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