Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 26th March 2023
Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
1. D-Town looked on with something approaching a Gallic shrug as they observed their cheese-eating surrender monkey cousins in Trowvegas getting somewhat antsi over proposals to make them contribute anything towards their pensions. After three days of rioting, arson, looting and anti-social behaviour, almost fifteen pounds-worth of damage had been caused. As a result of warnings from the DSS (D-Town Special Services), the planned visit by the chap from the Big House on the hill with his wife to the local branch of Tesco was postponed. Concerns were expressed as to how it would look if the couple were to be seen to be shopping normally, when the ordinary people of Trowvegas couldn’t even afford a packet of Pringles.
2. A report into the conduct of PLOD (Police of D-Town) has concluded that the force is institutionally lazy, incompetent & totally cloth-eared. The report was met with a massive wave of apathy, and has been filed alongside previous reports into Bear Defecation in Forested Areas and the Catholic Tendencies of Popes.
3. And yet again, the streets are clogged by people taken completely unawares by the advent of British Summer Time, unable to cope with the massive behavioural changes required for the act of putting the clocks forward by an hour.
Copyright Andy
Fawthrop 2023
No comments:
Post a Comment