Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 10th September 2023
Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
1. D-Town was briefly under martial law during the week. Apart from the Water Board closing several streets to install new water mains, thus reducing local drivers to gibbering wrecks, large gangs of unruly schoolchildren roamed the streets. Having discovered that several school buildings were constructed using a combination of yoghurt, feta cheese and lark-spit, the facilities were rapidly closed. The library, and most other civic buildings were also off-limits as roofs made of Weetabix were uncovered. The children were finally rounded up, using a combination of cattle-prods and traps laced with salt and vinegar crisps.
2. On the music scene, townsfolk were surprised to hear of the release of the first new album of original songs from 60s super-group The Strolling Bones. Speaking from their walking frames and power chairs in their residence The D-Town Home For The Terminally Bewildered, lead singer Rick Jogger and guitarists Bonny Good and Rich Keefwards said that they hoped to go on tour of the entire ground floor of the home in the next few weeks. Featuring two ex-members on some tracks, one of whom lives in a cave in Scotland with a yak, and another who is actually dead, the album will be released on NeededTheMoney Records next week.
Copyright Andy
Fawthrop 2023
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