Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 14th April 2024
Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
1. Citizens of D-Town have had a monumental week, and have been forced to stand back in awe to admire the mighty force of Nature in action. On Wednesday crowds gathered to marvel at the spectacle of the single-decker town bus being completely eclipsed by the double-deck 49 as it passed through town in its transit towards TrowVegas. Not until 2037 is this perfect alignment of the two services on London Road bridge expected to occur again. As if this were not enough, on Thursday another phenomenon occurred. The continuously smoking pile of rubbish that is the town dump began emitting almost perfect smoke circles. Accompanied by coughing tip workers, and clouds of choking fumes, the rings were seen to ascend high into the air above Etchilhampton, before dissipating themselves into the atmosphere.
2. And a man from The Vize has claimed to be the first idiot to run the entire length of the A342. After arriving at the end of the road near Salisbury Plain, the man (named Luke Leaner) claimed to be “a bit tired”, and that he had been inspired to do something so difficult, and yet pointless, by the sight of the D-Town Council leader being interviewed whilst wearing a pair of expensive Adidas Samba trainers. “Anything that man can do to destroy the credibility of the brand, I can do much better,” he claimed. He was later arrested by police and charged with “loitering near a pedestrian crossing with the intention to cross road”.
Copyright Andy
Fawthrop 2024
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