Here is
our weekly round-up of events from Bromham:
·
There
were several surprises in this New Year’s Queen’s Honours List. Politicians,
community workers and sports-persons were amongst those honoured. Leader of Bromham Parish Council and the Field
Land-Owners’ Party (FLOP), becomes Sir
Dave Wentwrong, for his services to local schmoozing. He joins his brothers, several cousins, and
his sisters and his aunts in being honoured, but denied that his sister’s role
as the Queen’s Lady-In-Waiting had anything to do with it. The irascible manager of Bromham Casuals,
Benny Dogleash, becomes an MBE (Member of the Bromham Extroverts).
·
In
his New Year message to the electorate of the Parish, leader of the
Carrot-Rooters Action Party (CRAP), Ted Willybanned, gave his forecast for the
local economy. He forecasts doom and
gloom, and lays the blame for this situation squarely at the feet of FLOP. He
claims that CRAP would do much better than FLOP. In response, FLOP claimed that
CRAP were talking crap, and that their fiscal policies would be a flop.
·
On
the Bromham Broadcasting Corporation (BBC), the results of the Bromham Sports
Personality of the Year were announced.
This year’s winner, for the tenth year in a row, was Bromham Casuals’
star striker Dwayne Mooney. Mooney was
not able to pick up his award in person, due to a previous engagement at Her
Majesty’s Pleasure (apparently a nightclub in Swindon), but sent a pre-recorded
video message, in which he thanked the people of Bromham for their votes, and
played down claims that the only reason he had won had been due to the fact
that there were no other sports personalities in Bromham.
·
And
finally, we would like to wish all our seven readers a Happy New Year.
·
For
details of these and all other Bromham stories, don’t forget to listen to local
radio station Carrot FM.
Copyright
Andy Fawthrop 2012
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