The Iron Ladle

The Iron Ladle

Have you been personally devastated since the demise of The Leaderene? Are you at a loss now that the real back-bone has been taken away from the Conservative Party?  Do the antics of David Cameron and George Osborne make you weep in frustration?  Would you like a way in which you can remember the greatest Prime Minister that Grantham has ever produced?

Wait no more - we have the perfect answer for you: The Iron Ladle.

Yes, the City Guild of Senior Conservative Crusties has great pleasure in announcing the release of a strictly limited edition of this highly-desirable and collectable “Baroness Thatcher Commemorative Iron Ladle”.

This delightful and valuable piece has been designed by a specialist committee of Thatcher experts, including Sir Geoffrey Howe, Sir Michael Heseltine, Sir Cecil Parkinson and, of course, Lord Arthur Scargill.

It will be available in a range of colours, including Steely Grey, True Blue and Coal Black (oh, sorry, this last one is no longer available).

This is a rare opportunity to own a beautiful utensil-cum-momento-mori, and is expected to be of considerable investment value over the long-term.

This item is not only attractive in its own right, but is practical too.  It will remind you of This Country’s Greatest Post-War Leader every time that you engage in any type of stirring activity.  In terms of decoration, no expense has been spared.  The handle has been lovingly hand-tooled with images of Handbags Rampant, and of the Sinking Of The Belgrano, in a fascinating inter-twined pattern. It will arrive encased in a specially-designed box in the shape of The Falkland Islands, and will be accompanied by a numbered Certificate Of Authenticity, under-written by a facsimile of the signature of Margaret Hilda Roberts.

Whether you are a lonely Trades Union Member, or still work in one of Britain’s remaining manufacturing industries, or are currently unemployed, or whether you simply live in your own ex-Council House, you are bound to find that this ladle will move you to tears.  In fact, we anticipate an extremely strong reaction, once the date for this opportunity-to-own has been released.

Whatever your feelings, however, we think that you will find this item so attractive to look at, that you will not wish to use it in the kitchen at all – in fact, you could say that “This Ladle’s Not For Turning".


Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2013