Search This Blog

Sunday 14 July 2013

News From Bromham - Dateline Sunday 14th July 2013

Bulletin From Bromham: Dateline – Sunday 14th July 2013

Here is our weekly round-up of events from Bromham:

1.       Amazement was expressed this last week that out on the rarely-used courts, some Scottish kid won a tennis competition.  Although not actually from Bromham, as the crowd would have liked, Andy McPiglet was the first to win any tennis game there for seventy-seven years.  After his triumph, McPiglet failed to smile for the official photograph, mumbled something about being over the moon, and forgot to kiss his mother.  Well that’s what the other kids said anyway.

2.       Further amazement was expressed when it was revealed that Bromham Parish Councillors are in line for an 11% increase in their official carrot allowance.  Coming as it does in a time of severe vegetable austerity, a member of the public described the proposal as a joke.  The Bromham Parsnip Bank has seen requests for its services increase strongly over the last year, and there are rumours that in the coming winter a system of strict sprout rationing will be introduced.

3.       After three days of slightly warm weather, local water services have gone into meltdown.  A hosepipe ban has been immediately introduced, and people have been found wandering around the village muttering such things as “cor, what a scorcher!” and “hot enough for yer?”

4.       For details of these and all other Bromham stories, don’t forget to listen to local radio station Carrot FM.


Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2013

No comments: