Bulletin From Bromham: Dateline
– Sunday 21st July 2013
Here is our weekly round-up of events from Bromham:
1.
News
is still eagerly awaited on the birth of new baby expected by the daughter of
the bloke that owns the chip-shop in the High Street. A reporter from the Bromham Broadcasting
Corporation (BBC) has been camped outside the shop for four days now, whilst
awaiting for the news, sustained only by the occasional battered Saveloy. The girl’s grandmother, a Mrs Queenie Piglet,
has been heard to say that she wishes she’d get on with it, as “one is going on
holiday soon”. One was not available for
comment.
2.
The
brother of the man whose cousin’s best friend’s sister knows the bloke who
knocked off the helmet of Bromham’s only patrolling police-man last week, has
expressed his dismay at the treatment of the accused whilst held in prison.
Being previously of good health, the man has now lost three front teeth, has
two broken ribs, a broken arm, a ruptured spleen, two black eyes, bruising all
over his body, and is unable to walk unaided.
A spokesman for the Prison Officer’s Union, speaking outside Bromham
Maximum Security Prison, said that the man had obviously “stumbled slightly”
and may have been injured as prison officers rushed to his aid.
3.
For
details of these and all other Bromham stories, don’t forget to listen to local
radio station Carrot FM.
Copyright
Andy Fawthrop 2013
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