Bulletin From Bromham: Dateline
– Sunday 12th January 2014
Here is our weekly round-up of events from Bromham:
1.
Bromham is today mourning the death of Aerial “Rooftop”
Sharon, one of the village’s key characters. She had been in an alcohol-induced
stupor for the last eight years, but died suddenly this morning after someone
accidentally turned off the alcohol tap.
Sharon had been the TV aerial-fitter of choice in the village for many
years, her cheery rooftop abuse of any passers-by being the stuff of
legend. In her younger days, she had
been a key figure in the 1973 six-day war with the Seend Separatist Movement,
twice being mentioned in work-order sheets, and finally awarded the Grand Order
of the DVD in honour of antennae erection services to the community.
2.
Meanwhile,
the head of Bromham’s Foreign Policy Unit has been secretly filmed visiting the
attractive widow at No. 69 on the High Street, arriving after dark on a
bicycle, before returning again to his official residence before dawn. However, the intrepid cub reporter from the
Bromham Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) spotted Mr. Orland Piglet weaving around
erratically on his bike in the early hours whilst out early one morning engaged
in the local country pursuit of goat-nadgering.
3.
For
details of these and all other Bromham stories, don’t forget to listen to local
radio station Carrot FM.
Copyright
Andy Fawthrop 2014
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