Bulletin From Bromham: Dateline
– Sunday 5th January 2014
Here is our weekly round-up of events from Bromham:
1.
Bromham Crown Court was told this week that Nick
Piglet had exhausted his stocks of carrots, and therefore should be declared
both morally and financially bankrupt. After
the hearing, the leader of Bromham Nutcase Party (BNP) said that the judgement
would not affect his plans to run on the Parsnip ticket for membership of the
Wiltshire County Council.
2.
In
town-twinning news, the Bromham Casuals Select Cricket Team’s tour of the sandy
bits of Dubai was officially declared a disaster this morning, after yet
another batting collapse. In their latest match against a scratch team of slum
street-children, the tourists were bowled out for just 27 runs, losing the match
by an innings and 4,978 runs, with four days still left to play. The result
means that the team have suffered a 47-0 whitewash, in what is surely one of
the worst cricket performances in the modern era. To add insult to injury, whilst the players
were out in the field, all their valuables and passports were stolen from the
dressing room. They will now be forced
to walk back to Bromham over the winter, but are expected back in time to start
training for the coming season in May.
3.
For
details of these and all other Bromham stories, don’t forget to listen to local
radio station Carrot FM.
Copyright
Andy Fawthrop 2014
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