Bulletin From Bromham: Dateline
– Sunday 18th May 2014
Here is our weekly round-up of events from Bromham:
1.
Managers and some officials at the privately-owned
Bromham Parsnip mines have been arrested, following the mid-week disaster when
a pocket of previously undetected cabbage gas exploded, injuring a large number
of root-vegetable miners. The owners of
the large drift-mine, one of the largest in Wiltshire, denied any negligence,
and insisted that the highest standards of vegetable safety were maintained at
the pit.
2.
The Governor of the Bank of Bromham, Mark
Piglet, has voiced his concerns about the fragility of the recent recovery of
the local economy. He cited in
particular the “cottage bubble”, which he feared would lead to inflation in the
value of property for the impoverished and barely-human in-breds who work in
the local vegetable fields. “Only last
week,” he said, “we had reports of gazumping, with previously-agreed property
deals being thrown into turmoil by new increased offers of extra onions and
leeks to sweeten the deals.”
No-one from the Bank of Bromham was
available to comment about what on Earth he was talking about.
3.
For
details of these and all other Bromham stories, don’t forget to listen to local
radio station Carrot FM.
Copyright
Andy Fawthrop 2014
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