Bulletin From Bromham: Dateline
– Sunday 13th December 2015
Here is our weekly round-up of events from Bromham:
1. Saturday
saw the outbreak of celebrations in the High Street when it was announced that
a binding Climate Change deal had been hammered out in county-wide negotiations
in Trowbridge. Although open fires of
wooden pallets, vegetable packing cases and surplus baler-twine will now be
banned under a “clear skies” accord, villagers will still be able to exercise
their ancient rites of rick-burning, poaching, lamping and vigilantism. The countryside is a strange place – it’s
mostly farming and fornication. And in
the winter there’s not much farming.
2. Dave
Wentwrong, leader of the Field Land-Owners Party (FLOP), and head of the Parish
Council, outraged village leaders and citizens alike this week when he called
for the banning of all non-Bromhamians from entering the village. This was in the wake of a recent wave of
violent incidents involving outsiders, which Mr Wentwrong, lay at the door of
immigrants from Heddington and of Seend extremists. It was later pointed out that only 10% of
villagers were actually born here, and that Mr Wentwrong himself was a
relatively recent immigrant.
3.
For
details of these and all other Bromham stories, don’t forget to listen to local
radio station Carrot FM.
Copyright
Andy Fawthrop 2015
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