Bulletin From Bromham: Dateline
– Sunday 6th December 2015
Here is our weekly round-up of events from Bromham:
1. Following
Wednesday’s vote in the Parish Council to extend the bombing campaign to Seend,
jets took off from RAF Bromham within the hour.
Several sorties were flown overnight, the Tornado jets being armed with
heat-seeking carrots and air-to-air parsnips.
A number of unmanned Reaper drones also targeted the rebels in their
broccoli strongholds, using pinpoint accurate brassica weapons.
2. Bromham’s
representatives at the International Climate Change talks in Trowbridge have been
arguing the case for a reduction in the area’s temperature levels. An offer has been made to close down Bromham’s
only carbon-based “dirty” power-station in Sandridge, which currently burns
mangel-wurzels and sprouts, and to convert it to operate by burning surplus
baler-twine and rotting fence-posts.
However, concerns have been raised regarding the disposal method for
spent baler-twine, which is reported to have a half-life of several thousand
years. Since the requirement is bury the
waste in a place with no atmosphere, Hungerford or Reading have been suggested
as possible sites.
3.
For
details of these and all other Bromham stories, don’t forget to listen to local
radio station Carrot FM.
Copyright
Andy Fawthrop 2015
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