It’s
My Party…
It’s
not seemly to be selfish, to keep it to oneself
Hiding
it from others, to be so possessive, and not to share
But
this quite different
In
this case, it’s mine, not yours
And
clearly belongs only to me
It’s
personal and private
The
thing that’s growing inside is for me
to suffer and endure
To
conduct my own campaign of warfare against it
And
to battle bravely against what ails
me
I
appreciate your interest
Your
sympathy, your empathy
And
all the feelings you have for my sorry situation
How
you’d like to take over
To
make me feel better
To
nurse me back to health
To
smother me with love
To
overwhelm me with information
And
the brave tales of others who have battled and won
But
you can’t fight by proxy
You’re
stepping on my toes
Encroaching
onto my patch
Muscling
in on my action
Pushing
me out of the picture
And
invading my territory
Can’t
you see?
I
went to a lot of trouble
Spent
a lot of my lifetime
To
catch this bloody disease
And
develop this deadly condition
Growing
these mutant cells
That
threaten to spread over the rest of my innards
It
was me that gave birth to this
monster
It’s
my bloody baby, so let me look after it
I
must be the one to nurture it, and feel it grow
Till
it’s fully formed and large enough
That
I can finally stick the knife in
Cut
it right away
And
kill the damned cuckoo
Don’t
deny me this one thing that’s mine
The
anger that’s driving me
Till
the fight-back begins -
It’s
one of the few pleasures I’m likely to get
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