Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 13th September 2020
Here is our weekly
round-up of events from D-Town:
1. The
Town Council has come out strongly against conspiracy theorists by publishing a
number of articles in the local paper “The D-Town Strangler &
Throat-Garbler”. For example it is not
true that toilet rolls are imbued with mystical healing powers, nor that
face-masks make people look stupid, nor that digital phone masts provide any
sort of decent phone signal (5G, 4G or otherwise), nor that Mrs Haskins at No.
43 Long Street is secretly shagging the mayor behind his wife’s back, nor that
eating tripe on a Tuesday can give you hiccups.
However the situation on the pope’s religious allegiance, and the toilet
arrangements of ursines in the woodland, remains unclear.
2. And
the new football season has kicked off, but behind closed doors due to Covid
regulations. D-Town Ramblers played Trowvegas
Wanderers at the ground of Old Dribblers and both teams strained to make the
slightest impression. The score ended
0-0, with both teams lucky to score 0.
Only 7 players were sent off, a new low for the opening day of the
season, and the match officials only received relatively minor injuries. Because of the lack of the usual crowd of
about 11 people, local hospitals remained quiet.
Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2020
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