Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 26th September 2021
Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
1. Citizens of The Vize were advised not to panic following a disastrous week in which several local and national politicians finally ran out of gas. The Regulator (OffTwat) advised that people put in this position, through no fault of their own, would be automatically switched to other politicians of another party, who are still full of gas, particularly those who were wind-assisted. People found to be needlessly queueing for petrol would however not be given this protection.
2. Lawyers in D-Town High Court have ruled that newspapers have been correctly delivered to the man who lives in The Big House on The High Street, simply by being fully pushed through his letterbox, even though he wasn’t in at the time and wasn’t even looking. He now has four weeks in which to claim that the papers were not correctly served.
3. Following the inexplicable MCC decision that official terminology is to be amended to make cricket more inclusive by referring to the batsman as a batter, local cricket clubs have adopted the new terms with alacrity. Fielding position “third man” has become “third person”, “bowling a maiden over” is now “bowling a person of impeccable virtue over” and “silly mid-on” has become “bloody stupid fielding position”
Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2021
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