Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 10th April 2022
Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
1. The first cousin twice removed of the chap who works at the chip shop on alternate Tuesdays has issued a statement to say that from now on he will only buy his shopping in centre-of-town establishments, and will give up his right to nip out to the branch of LIDL on the edge of town. He said that he did not want his shopping habits to become a distraction from the important work that his employer was doing in delivering fully-battered cod and haddock to the D-Town general public. Privately it has been revealed that by exercising his Non-D-Town status over the past 15 years, he may have saved himself more than £7 in bills.
2. And as the early Easter get-away begins, there have been long queues forming at the borders in The Vize, due to a mixture of factors, which have included: a lack of visas for the badland areas of Trowvegas, a shortage of seats on the 49 bus-route crossings, and a general lack of interest in paying inflated prices for fuel. The Caen Hill dual carriageway has gone into "Operation Stack”, whereby milk-floats awaiting safe passage to Poulshot are parked along the inside lane and central reservation. Traffic is expected to get back to normal once the holidays are over and as soon as no-one wants to travel any more.
Copyright Andy
Fawthrop 2022
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