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Sunday 24 April 2022

Drivel From Devizes - Dateline Sunday 24th April 2022

Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 24th April 2022 

Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:                                              

1.      After a two-year shutdown due to Covid, D-Town’s newly refurbished Quite Small Hadron Collider has re-opened following a major refurbishment.  Housed in a ring of tunnels buried a few feet beneath the Market Place, the QSHC will allow our brave local boffins to pursue completely new lines of sub-atomic scientific research.  Whilst the Large Hadron Collider boys will be looking beyond the existence of Matter to finding Dark Matter, our local team will be looking even beyond that to the third sort of matter – Doesn’t Matter. 

2.      The exciting final round of the French presidential election, featuring a Right-Wing Extremist and a slightly Even Righter-Wing Extremist, has drawn a chorus of yawns and a wave of ennui from the D-Town electorate.  Of much more interest, and the subject of huge amounts of betting & speculation, is the outcome of the latest fight between two ducks on The Crammer.  The ongoing battle between Quackers, the reigning duck champion, and Big Bill, the challenger, is likely to draw huge crowds to the waterside this weekend.  The result will be declared in the early hours of Monday morning, when most of us will be asleep. 

Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2022

 

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