Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 2nd October 2022
Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
1. The D-Town Stock Market has gone crazy this week, following the botched announcements made last week from the Town Hall concerning the Council’s annual budget. The value of a single tube of Pringles went through the roof on Wednesday, its trading value equal to almost four tickets in The Vole & Ferret’s weekly meat raffle. 20 cigarettes have almost gained parity with the value of a severed limb, and just one packet of frozen chicken dinosaurs was changing hands for a free night in police cells.
2. And police had to be asked to intervene as tempers flared in queues waiting to buy Christmas goods at the town’s supermarkets. Now that it’s only three months till the “big day”, fears had arisen that there wouldn’t be enough packets of Aunt Bessie’s frozen Yorkshire Puddings, jumbo-sized Quality Street and special packs of last year’s leftover tat to go round. There have already been runs on dried stuffing mix, crackers and Bisto. People are genuinely concerned that if they don’t get their sprouts on a low light soon the whole Festive Season will be ruined.
Copyright Andy
Fawthrop 2022
No comments:
Post a Comment