Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 18th December 2022
Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
1. A massive scientific breakthrough occurred this week in The Vize, when scientists at the DBC (D-Town Boffins Club) announced that they had successfully created Retail Fusion, by smashing together the marketing strategies of Waitrose and Lidl to create a new form of mid-range retailer. Fusion is defined as that process by which more energy is produced coming out than going in to create it. This was achieved when a random shopper, a Chinese national named Ho Lee Fuk, was forced into a branch of Sainsburys and emerged from the checkout with more money than he’d gone in with.
2. And the culmination of four weeks of gruelling competition in the shopping arcades has almost come to an end with the final of WCC (Whatsitallabout Christmas Cup), where the winners of the quest to buy Aunty Pauline’s Christmas jumper will play the defending champions of Uncle Derek’s usual socks and handkerchief combo presentation pack.
Copyright Andy
Fawthrop 2022
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