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Sunday 9 April 2023

Drivel From Devizes - Dateline Sunday 9th April 2023

Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 9th April 2023 

Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:                                              

1.      As Easter rolls by, yet another religious flashpoint has erupted.  Hundreds of party-goers have barricaded themselves into the Corny Bin Night-club, where they demanded the right to worship at the shrine of Stella Artois, whilst armed bouncers try to get them out.  This comes at the high point of the early drinking season, when certain pubs which are held as holy by at least three different party tribes in The Vize.  The D-Town Airforce has also been scrambled in response to attacks from TrowVegan separatists in the West.  Milk floats have been set alight, and the 49 bus has twice been re-routed (Sunday services not affected). 

2.      And, in a completely expected development, an orange-coloured has-been politician has been arrested outside the Town Hall.  Almost seven supporters gathered to protest the arrest, and also to demand that the Clowncil should spend more money on filling pot-holes in local roads.  The orange man protested his innocence, but promised to look into funding for road repairs.  No roads were harmed in the making of this protest. 

Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2023

 

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