Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 16th April 2023
Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
1. Security forces were on full alert in D-Town this week as the International Airport was cordoned off to allow the plane of the Head of the International Masons (HIM) to land safely. He was accompanied by the Head of External Relations (HER) and the Secretary for Online Nations (SON). He was visiting The Vize in order to trace his long-lost relations from the Twelve-toed Estate in order to claim his thuggish heritage. Standing on the steps of the aircraft on a windy, rainy day, he made several irrelevant remarks about Council Estates, before disappearing down the road to the Badlands of Melksham.
2. And the town was in mourning this week as it was announced that, regrettably, the son of the man being installed as mayor next month won’t be able to bring his awful wife with him to the ceremony. It is thought that the youngster fears not being able to sufficiently draw attention to himself and his pitiful grievances because all eyes will be focused on his father instead. However, he is hopeful that by giving away free copies of his pity memoir “Square”, he may enlist some sympathy for his cause. His wife is also thought to be distraught that her ground-breaking sponsorship of Tupperware products might be compromised.
Copyright Andy
Fawthrop 2023
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