What The Dickens??

Well, yesterday was the lad's big day.  200 years since the birth of one of our greatest English novelists.  I'm as pleased as anyone else, but I do wonder if it's possible to take some of these anniversaries a bit too far?  When you start to have a theme park based on your life & works, it's probably too much.  You only have to visit Haworth in West Yorkshire to see how the village's most famous residents, the Brontes, have been treated - every cafe and shop harps upon their names.  Anyway - Happy Birthday to Charles!

What The Dickens?

Come with me now if you will;

Into history we’re going to delve.

The place is old Portsea town,

And the year is eighteen-twelve. 

There’s the mewl of an infant,

Delivered this cold, grey morn.

They’re calling him Charles,

This boy who’s been recently born.

At first his family lived well,

His father was free from all crimes,

But then he became a bad debtor,

And they fell upon Hard Times. 

Sent to work in a blacking factory,

This boy no bigger than a mouse,

Coming home in the evening,

To his mother’s Bleak House. 

But the lad had Great Expectations,

And a day’s work he never missed,

Set on digging himself out of poverty,

Determined he’d be no Oliver Twist.

He worked, and scrimped and saved,

Right till his fingers were sore,

And if there was any overtime going,

He’d say “Please Sir, can I have some more?”

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times,

And his role was one of a drudge,

But he discovered his skill as a writer,

And soon produced Barnaby Rudge.

Pickwick Papers, Little Dorritt,

And more novels, without any end,

Flowed from his pen every year,

From this, Our Mutual Friend.

I say “without end” casually,

And many certainly ensued,

But he did leave one rather unfinished,

And that was The Mystery of Edwin Drood.

Fast forward now, if you will,

Steer-Forth my darling dears,

To the present day, good listener,

Come forward two hundred years.

To celebrate the birth of this great writer,

There are eulogies without any stop,

And you can buy Dickens souvenirs,

At The Old Curiosity Shop.

You can have a David Copperfield bookmark,

Illustrated editions of Dombey & Son,

Martin Chuzzlewit stand-up figures,

All guaranteed to give lots of fun.

There’s a “Charles Dickens Experience”,

A theme park, if you will,

And biographies a-plenty –

That you can indulge to your fill.

Come, let’s go to the Nicholas Nickleby café,

Served by waiting staff dressed as Little Nell,

Miss Havisham, Peggotty and others,

Scrooge and Tom Cratchit as well.

It’s a far, far better thing I do,

So just let me give you this tip; -

Take your Charles Dickens in small doses,

If you don’t want it to give you the Pip. 

I’m all for celebrating birthdays,

But this Ghost of Dickens past

Is taking things a bit too far,

So let’s hope that this is the last.

Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2012