Here is
our weekly round-up of events from Bromham:
·
Local
land-owner Peter Piglet has been charged with over-wintering his potatoes. Five sacks of the legumes were found secreted
in one of his barns. Police apologised
to the local community for their repeated failure to find the tubers, despite
having searched the barn on four previous occasions, two of those searches
involving specialist-trained potato-hounds.
Local people, who had volunteered to provide search-parties for the
missing potatoes over the previous week, were said to be distraught at the grim
discovery.
·
Records
were broken this week as Isaac Hunt, 76, of Upper Bromham successfully defended
his Wiltshire 1-acre carrot-cropping record for the second year running. He added this feat to his 2-acre parsnip-pulling
record which he had set the previous week.
Not since 1908 has Wiltshire boasted such a double root-crop feat.
·
Sport
– the fighting style of female Olympic boxers has been heavily criticised by
regular members of Bromham’s thriving night-spots, who prefer to do their
brawling with loaded handbags, six-inch high stilettos and fish-net
tights. One of the girls, who preferred
not to give her name, but who goes by the nick-name of Thunderthighs, commented
that the boxers were giving Team GB a bad name on the international brawling
circuit by drinking only water, and by insisting on wearing flat shoes and
safety helmets. “It’s not like real
fighting, innit?” she said.
·
For
details of these and all other Bromham stories, don’t forget to listen to local
radio station Carrot FM.
Copyright
Andy Fawthrop 2012
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