Here is
our weekly round-up of events from Bromham:
·
Local
pop sensation Fanny Fracas landed themselves in hot water this week, after
their provocative performance at Bromham Social Club. Local parish councillors were shocked by the
lyrics which apparently called for better representation at a local level on a
mixed transferable vote system, as opposed to the winner-takes-all approach of
the first-past-the-post election dynamic.
At least that’s what they were reported to be saying. It forms the gist of their latest hit single
entitled “Screw You, Grandad”.
·
Bromham
father-of-seventeen, Ivor Nurge, found himself in a virtual lock-down situation
this week. His wife and a large number
of his children have taken over the lounge and kitchen of their semi-detached
Council house for the duration of the Olympics, declaring the paths between lounge,
kitchen and toilet to be special Olympic Lanes dedicated to facilitating speedy
journeys between these key facilities in order to maximise viewing time from
the sofa. Only the hall, stairs and
smallest bedroom have been excluded from this “no-go” area. Mr Nurge, a man of failing strength and
stamina, was apparently heard to say that he was “off down the pub” and that he
“might not come back”. Mrs Nurge was not
available for comment.
·
Sport
– heartbreak for Team Greater Bromham (Team GB) men’s football squad as they
were last night eliminated from the Quarter-Finals of the Germolene Cup on
penalties. Commented team coach Benny
Dogleash: “although it’s obviously absolutely gutting to be eliminated from the
competition, our boys are proud to have upheld a generations-old
tradition. Many of the team’s fathers
lost on penalties, as did their fathers before them. It’s a real family thing – you just don’t get
that in any other sport than football.”
·
For
details of these and all other Bromham stories, don’t forget to listen to local
radio station Carrot FM.
Copyright
Andy Fawthrop 2012
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