Angry
It’s not disappointment
Nor confusion, nor frustration
The feelings you seem to think I’m having
Your training tells you I’ll be shocked
Surprised and overwhelmed
By information overload
Unable to take it in
As though it’s all too much
But that’s not it at all
I fully understand
I’m focused on your voice
The reassuring practiced tone
No beating about the bush
No use of euphemisms
But the bare and brutal truth
And coming straight to the point
No room for any doubt
But after that it’s different
A sudden darkness
On the periphery of vision
A caving-in of walls
A falling, breaking sky
And a hard shattering of light
Brilliant glittering crystals
And blood-red beads
Shimmering sparkles
Cascading to the floor
Where they settle
Gathering in pools around my feet
And then a quietness
An emptying of sound
Except the echoing
Noise that is your voice
Still talking options and decisions
Through the shit-storm
That fills me up
Quivering and shaking
A rising gorge
A boiling up of anger
A towering rage
Cowering under the enormity
Of the scale of this miserable betrayal
The depth of disappointment
That my own body should dare to let me down
And fail to go the distance
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