Bulletin From Bromham: Dateline
– Sunday 17th November 2013
Here is our weekly round-up of events from Bromham:
1.
Flags and bunting were flying throughout the
village this week in honour of Charles ‘Fruitcake’ Piglet, who has reached the
grand old age of 65. In a special
ceremony outside The Wounded Ferret, Charles was presented with his bus-pass, a
Bromham memorial walking-stick, and a certificate which bestowed upon the grand
old veteran the Freedom of The Village. In
a further gesture of celebration, the recent charges of indecent exposure
against Mr Piglet were finally dropped, due to lack of reliable witness
evidence.
2.
Later
in the week, however, controversy reigned as the owner of The Big House, at the
end Jockey Lane, Mrs Violet ‘Bananas’ Piglet-Thynne, castigated the dietary
habits of some villages. When informed
that some hard-working families could not afford to buy certain cuts of beef
for their Sunday dinners, pronounced that it was time that they started to eat
horsemeat instead. Apart from being
cheap, nutritious, and low in fat, horsemeat is in plentiful supply. At times she struggled to be heard over the
sound of reversing lorries in her stable-yard, which had been called in to take
away a number of recent equine fatalities.
3.
For
details of these and all other Bromham stories, don’t forget to listen to local
radio station Carrot FM.
Copyright
Andy Fawthrop 2013
No comments:
Post a Comment