Bulletin From Bromham: Dateline
– Sunday 1st December 2013
Here is our weekly round-up of events from Bromham:
1.
Shock and horror were experienced in the main
court-room of Bromham Quarterly Assizes this week when it was revealed that Nigella
Piglet had often been “off her face” on a cocktail or carrot and beetroot
juice. The revelation came in an email
from her former husband Chaz “Snatchy” Piglet, during a trial of the former
couple’s house-servants, who have been accused of spending large amounts of
money on a wild life of vegetables and local dairy products. The trial continues.
2.
Good
news came mid-week when it was announced that the former Comedy Vegetable-Picking
Troupe “Parsnip Python” are to re-form for a series of one-off demonstrations, weekly
press interviews, a gruelling forty-week tour, a double CD/ DVD release and a
global live telecast, The troupe, who
have not performed together for nearly thirty years due to “irreconcilable
vegetable-picking differences”, have decided to bury the trowel and get
together again for purely financial purposes. Eric “Idle” Piglet, John “Cheese”
Piglet, Terry “Jonze” Piglet, Michael “Paling” Piglet, and Terry “Gillian” Piglet,
all now in their seventies, will play to a sell-out crowd at the 57-seater
Bromham Bowl in July 2014. When tickets went
on sale earlier this week, the Bromham computer went in to melt-down, due to
the simultaneous demand of more than one person. The tickets sold out in less than four days.
3.
For
details of these and all other Bromham stories, don’t forget to listen to local
radio station Carrot FM.
Copyright
Andy Fawthrop 2013
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