Bulletin From Bromham: Dateline
– Sunday 14th September 2014
Here is our weekly round-up of events from Bromham:
1.
With only a few days to go before the referendum
voting on Seend independence gets under way, pundits are already saying that
the result is just too close to call. Campaigners
for the “Yes”, “No” and “Couldn’t Give A Toss” parties have been lobbying hard
in the High Street all week, and a media frenzy has developed outside the
village shop as the press watches whether people are buying the Seend or
Bromham edition of the Bromham Bugle.
Said Mrs. Hermione Piglet of Rose Cottage just near the shop: “I just
wish they’d all bugger off and leave us alone”. It seems impossible to put it fairer than
that.
2.
A man has been arrested in connection with a
fire which was believed to have been started deliberately at the village’s main
rescue home for unwanted pigs. Several animals
were killed in the fire, and roads nearby have been choked in grease as people
attempted to get near to snag some fresh crackling for themselves. Apple sauce and stuffing vendors did a
roaring trade as fire-men half-heartedly attempted to douse down the porcine
disaster site. Police commented that it
was “a real pig of a situation”.
3.
For
details of these and all other Bromham stories, don’t forget to listen to local
radio station Carrot FM.
Copyright
Andy Fawthrop 2014
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