Bulletin From Bromham: Dateline
– Sunday 12th October 2014
Here is our weekly round-up of events from Bromham:
1. The
Swivel-Eyed Loon Federation (SELF) party scored an amazing success this week in
the Bromham by-election for the Parish Council (caused by the resignation of
the former councillor who had been caught sending disgusting pictures of
baler-twine to a female journalist).
Eddie “Nutcase” Piglet came from behind in the polls to win an amazing
victory, and in his victory speech called for Bromham’s borders with Seend to
be closed, in order to prevent unemployed immigrants from entering the village,
thus causing the spread on ebola and monster killer spiders.
2. The
Bromham Theme Park narrowly avoided closure this week, after a last-minute
financial bail-out by Bromham Bank. Fans
of the themed tractor rides, mangel-throwing competitions, and Wiltshire’s only
dedicated in-breeding centre, were relieved that their days out were to be
saved. The Park’s three employees were
also so relieved that their jobs had been saved that they went to The Wounded
Ferret to celebrate, and the Park was subsequently closed for the rest of the
day.
Copyright
Andy Fawthrop 2014
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