Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday
13th August 2017
Here is our weekly round-up of events from Devizes:
1. Tensions
were ratcheted up another notch or two this week as D-Town’s war of words with
the Evil Empire of Trowvegas continued to escalate. After the supreme leader of that distant and
backward province, King-John-Huh, announced plans to open another shopping
centre, the mayor of D-Town retaliated by saying that the Town Council would
not hesitate to unleash a response “the like of which Wiltshire has never seen
before”. He was not explicit, but his
threat was thought to refer to withdrawal of the 20.33 bus service from the
Market Place.
2. And
trouble flared in the town centre last night when a group of White Wiltshire
Extremists (WWE) paraded in a torch-lit ceremony to insist that only
locally-grown vegetables should be served at civic functions. They were opposed by the Pro-Choice Legume
League (PCLL), who want to see a wider choice of more exotic side dishes being
made available. The WWE threw oil,
onions and tomatoes at their opponents, and the PCLL retaliated with courgettes
and aubergines. Clearing up the mess
later, police commented that the trouble had created a real ratatouille in
Sidmouth Street.
3.
For
details of these and all other Devizes stories, don’t forget to listen to local
radio station D-Town F-Off.
Copyright
Andy Fawthrop 2017
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