Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 28th October
2018
Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
1.
A
D-Town resident used the excuse of being pissed in the pub to break the town’s
vow of silence of exactly who had got the girl from the paper-shop in the
family way. He was named as the bloke
that goes in the café on the Brittox every Friday morning. The man in the pub claimed that it was in the
public interest for everyone to know.
The man in the café, meanwhile, denied any wrong-doing, and claimed that
the girl had sworn she was 17 at the time of the “encounter”. No aspects of the truth were harmed in the
making of these statements.
2. And people farting in
the street have twice been warned to cease operations for 24 hours after
sensitive equipment registered earth tremors measuring nearly 0.05% on the
Richter scale. The controversial
technique of farting involves ejecting gas (and sometimes liquid) at high
pressure through an anal sphincter, in an attempt to remove carbon and other
deposits. The Green lobby have condemned
farting, and called for an end to the human contribution to the emission of
greenhouse gases.
Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2018
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