Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 19th January 2020
Here is our weekly
round-up of events from D-Town:
1. The
row amongst the family at the Big House on the High Street continues. The new daughter-in-law, believed to be a
non-Wiltshire woman, has flounced out of the family home, dragging her ginger husband
with her. The couple are rumoured to
want to live in Trowvegas, and to support themselves from immoral earnings. However the cost of their daily bus-fares to
and from work is thought to be a sticking point in the future financial
settlement within the family.
2. And
D-Town’s highly successful rugby club has been told that it will face yet
further punishment for financial irregularities. Having already been docked 35 points and
fined £38.26p as a penalty for last season’s transgressions, it now turns out
that further offences have been committed.
The Club’s chairman Willy Wonty is alleged to have treated the first
team squad to free pie and chips on a weekly basis, thus breaking the league’s
strict code on chip remuneration. The new
punishment is thought to include automatic relegation to the Anusol League,
boiling in oil, and public disembowelment.
The League warned that this punishment was deemed to be lenient in the
circumstances.
Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2020
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