Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 17th May 2020
Here is our weekly
round-up of events from D-Town:
1. Some
children in D-Town are preparing to go back to school, but others are not. Children in Years 1, 3. 5 and 7 will attend
on alternating Tuesdays and Thursdays, whereas Years 2,4 and 6 will attend on
alternate Mondays and Wednesdays. The following week they will swap over. Fridays will be reserved for counselling
& therapy sessions for the teaching staff.
But these arrangements will only apply if social distancing can be maintained.
Or not, in which case they won’t
be. School janitors and other
non-reaching staff will be rubbed down with alcohol on a regular basis, and all
door handles and textbooks will be boiled after each usage. Or not.
On a conditional basis. Perhaps.
2. Given
that D-Town currently has a low R-number, S-number and T-number, and sits in a
beautiful country area of Wiltshire, civic leaders have pleaded with visitors
from other parts of the country to come and visit the area as soon as
possible. Although all pubs, cafes,
shops, toilets and car-parks are currently closed due to Covid-19 restrictions,
citizens are desperate to see any vehicles with an internal combustion engine
moving around the deserted streets, whilst seeking for a non-existent parking
space. Sightings of any forms of modern
technology would be welcome. The town
idiots are getting bored now and we desperately need some new targets for their
anti-social behaviour.
Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2020
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