Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 31st May 2020
Here is our weekly
round-up of events from D-Town:
1. Civic
pride has been heavily dented this week when it was revealed that Dom
Cummingsandgoings chose to drive to Barnard Castle, rather than D-Town, to have
his eyes tested. Boasting branches of
Specsavers, Haynes, Boots and many, many others, D-Town is superbly placed to
offer optometry services to the discerning middle-class idiot, rabid politico
or social-climber. Equally, council
leaders are furious that people breaking Covid-19 lockdown restrictions are
heading to beaches and national beauty spots, rather than to the boring High
Street of The Vize.
2. But
that civic pride was restored on Saturday night by the launch of D-Town’s first
commercial space flight from its Launchpad on top of Roundway Down. Such a high point was chosen in order to save
fuel, since it would mean that the International Space Station was at least 257
feet closer than if the launch had taken place from The Green in the centre of
town. Lighting the 2-metre-long
socially-distanced blue touch-paper, the Mayor retired to a safe distance and
the rocket took off without incident, other than forgetting to actually load
the two astronauts. But in all
other respects, the launch was a huge technical
success.
Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2020
No comments:
Post a Comment