Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 24th January 2021
Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
1. D-Town’s new mayor, Hugh Jardon, wasted no time getting down to work on his first day in office. Within 24 hours he had already signed into law, via executive order, intentions to rejoin The Tufty Club, reclaim the town’s Blue Peter badge, re-accept the controversial Trowvegas Accords, stand down the Bromham Light Infantry, and make whistling in any public space into a capital offence, punishable by death. He has also been rumoured to have re-arranged the furniture in the Elliptical Office several times, finding it almost impossible to find a layout that he likes in a room that has no corners. However, a bust of Nigel Farage has been unceremoniously dumped into the bin, from where it had been inexplicably removed previously.
2. Police are now roaming the streets of The Vize in an attempt to quell riots caused by people who have already been vaccinated against Covid taunting and provoking those yet to be jabbed. The “haves” have been flaunting their naked arms towards the “have-not-yets” in what is widely seen as a proxy for age-warfare. However both groups have been rumoured to be behind arson attacks and assaults against a third group the “not-going-to-haves”, a group so dense that even light has begun to bend around them.
Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2021
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