Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 26th December 2021
Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
1. D-Town’s streets were in absolute gridlock on Friday night, as large groups of men in family cars queued for hours to get onto petrol station forecourts in order to buy much-needed merchandise. Christmas having, yet again, come as a complete and utter shock to the male side of the population, last-minute shopping was to the fore. One wonders how many wives and girlfriends will be waking up on Christmas morning to discover hastily-wrapped presents under the tree, and feigning delight as they receive 5-piece mini-screwdriver sets, a locking petrol-cap, or a selection of air-fresheners.
2. And, as the sun rose on Boxing Day morning, chaos came to the pavements and canal towpaths of The Vize, as thousands flocked into the polluted, foggy Sunday air in a vain attempt to escape the cloying atmosphere of homes filled with in-laws, out-laws, casually-racist uncles, and gently-farting grand-mothers. Kitchens have become no-go areas, ruled over by huge piles of unwashed cutlery and crockery, and dominated by the zombie apocalypse of a huge turkey carcase.
Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2021
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