Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 7th August 2022
Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
1. D-Town’s military defences are on the highest level off alert as diplomatic tensions were raised to breaking point this week. TrowVegas has declared a 5-square mile exclusion zone around their town borders, and are carrying out live milk deliveries in this area. The 49 bus route has had to re-route in order to avoid the attentions of local militias. The stand-off was caused when D-Town’s Speaker of the Council visited Melksham’s Town Hall last Saturday night in order to attend a concert by an Abba Tribute Band, followed by a disco, a visit which the Vegans described as “highly provocative”.
2. Meanwhile D-Town is second in the medals table in the West Wiltshire Commonwealth Games, being held in Hillworth Park over the past two weeks. Swinetown is currently in the lead with 104 medals of various colours/ metals, closely followed by D-Town with a massive seven. Not many boroughs of D-Town’s modest size can boast a gold-medallist in queuing, silver medallist in stick-waving, and a bronze champion at shouting at the traffic. Whsat a time to be alive!
Copyright Andy
Fawthrop 2022
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