Bulletin From Bromham: Dateline
– Sunday 24th January 2016
Here is our weekly round-up of events from Bromham:
1. The
report into the mysterious death of Ivor “Bigun” Piglet was published this
week. It was revealed that Piglet was
poisoned by being fed a lethal concoction of Jerusalem artichokes, broad beans
and radio-active carrots, laced with the chemical Bromham-B3102. Police were able to re-trace the murder trail
by finding minute traces of the B3102 right across the village. The report concludes that Piglet’s murder
must have been authorised by the very highest authorities in neighbouring Semington.
2. Scientists
in the village are excited by the prospect that another large town may exist
with the Wiltshire universe. It has long
been suspected that another great urban force was occupying the area of space
far out beyond distant Salisbury, but no sightings have ever been
recorded. But recently, with the aid of
new bus-pass technology, and the decoding of the formerly-incoherent ranting of
village pensioners, boffins at Bromham’s University of Real-Time Paranormal
(BURP) believe that such metropolis, perhaps ten times the size of Bromham, may
be exerting magnetic and gravitational forces at the very far end of the known
county.
3.
For
details of these and all other Bromham stories, don’t forget to listen to local
radio station Carrot FM.
Copyright
Andy Fawthrop 2016
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