Bulletin From Bromham: Dateline
– Sunday 3rd January 2016
Here is our weekly round-up of events from Bromham:
1. Fierce
protests erupted in the village last night after news filtered through that the
neighbouring hamlet of Semington had topped and tailed a number of carrots and
parsnips. Particular offence was taken
to the seemingly cruel treatment of certain brassicas. An artichoke was said to have been eaten,
dipped in butter. A village spokesman
described the action as “provocative”, and warned that Semington would “live to
regret” such actions.
2. The
Carrot-Rooters’ Action Party (CRAP) have suspended one of their councillors
from the Parish Council after he was outed by the Bromham Bugle secretly
passing boxes of vegetables to a 17-year-old girl. He later admitted sending inappropriate root
crops to a girl under the age of consent, and having made an indecent proposal
involving a cauliflower and a lump of cheese.
3.
For
details of these and all other Bromham stories, don’t forget to listen to local
radio station Carrot FM.
Copyright
Andy Fawthrop 2016
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