Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 15th July 2018
Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
1. Huge delight in
the town this week as twelve exhausted shoppers were pulled out alive from
Morrisons’ bakery department, where they had been trapped with their trolley,
and a dwindling supply of Tunnock’s Teacakes, for nearly two weeks. A crack team of Army psychologists managed to
talk them out safely, aisle by aisle, by stringing together a trail of “Reduced”
stickers and BOGOF offers. The rescue
was hampered by the increasing presence of “Match & More” cards near the
tills, and only the specialist expertise of the military were able to deal with
the incredibly difficult conditions. The
shoppers are now receiving counselling.
2. And The Vize’s branch of
Poundland is having an almost unprecedented sale. Job lots of “Engerland” flags, pennants,
t-shirts and car-stickers are being offered for 99p as “unwanted stock”. Recordings of “Football’s Coming Home” are now
clogging the shelves. Meanwhile several
shops in the town have sold out of gentlemen’s waistcoats. Never mind – Wimbledon finishes today, and the
Proms season has already started, so it’ll soon “Winter drawers on” for
Christmas.
Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2018
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