The Resistance Of The Meek

The Resistance Of The Meek

Apparently the meek shall inherit the Earth,

But they’re shoved aside by those who would shout.

The squeaky wheel makes the loudest noise,

And reasonable voices are drowned out.

So I’m starting a new resistance movement,

To combat those whose behaviour’s too wild -

The only qualification is that you’ve got to be gentle,

Not only quite meek, but also terribly mild.

There won’t be any noisy protests,

We won’t be waving banners out on the street.

We’re going to awfully well behaved,

Whenever we decide that we’d like to meet.

We’ll be humble and we’ll be discreet,

Our anger and annoyance will remain pent.

You’ll have to pay very close attention,

To detect the tiny signs of our dissent.

We’ll start with strongly-worded letters,

Followed up with tuts and with sighs,

And if we get really worked up,

We’ll go as far as rolling our eyes.

We’ll be rattling our cups in their saucers,

Over morning coffee and afternoon tea.

A frank exchange of tea and biscuits,

Then everyone will look up and see.

We shall mow our lawns in careful stripes,

Wear gloves when we’re driving the car,

Wear beige clothes and sensible shoes,

Then you’ll see how serious we are!

We’ll carefully study our thermostats,

When controlling our Central Heating,

And there’ll be competitive queuing at the Post Office

If any resistance we’re meeting.

Politeness doesn’t cost anything,

Or so we’ve always been told.

It’ll be compulsory “pleases” and “thank-yous”,

But only if you don’t mind us being so bold?

We shall avoid the self-service check-outs,

Because we don’t trust the technology.

We shall hold the door open for ladies,

Because manners triumph over biology.

  

Caravanning will be a serious lifestyle choice,

And we’ll drive at a steady forty-two,

For a nice few days in Cleethorpes,

Altogether with our chemical loo.

Switching to decimal currency was a mistake:

We’ve only just got used to the change.

We’re going to keep on writing cheques,

Cos contactless cards are completely deranged!

We’ll insist on carpeting round the toilet,

And keeping loo rolls in crocheted dollies,

Because we all like things to look nice -

Just accept it as one of our follies.

We’ll be pulling on our cable-knit jumpers,

And buttoning our cardigans extra tight,

Before sliding into our very best slippers,

And double-locking the doors for the night.

And overnight we’ll use Steradent extra strength,

When cleaning and soaking our false teeth,

To make sure we have the shiniest dentures,

To hide the anger that’s bubbling beneath.

So if you’d like to join this radical movement,

And be a part of this seismic shift,

Just sidle over here and whisper quietly,

That, sometimes, you can get really quite miffed.

Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2018