Who Was That?
I’m trying to solve a mystery
Something that’s been bothering me
I’m searching for a criminal mind
As you will shortly be able to see
It started off in the fridge
When looking for the chocolate I’d left
The wrapper was folded and torn
And of half the bar I was bereft
There were no footprints leading away
No clues I could possibly follow
But a theft had been committed
Leaving me feeling empty and hollow
The next outrage was in the bathroom
(I’d only popped in for a widdle)
When I couldn’t help but notice
The toothpaste had been squeezed from the middle
The toilet seat was in the wrong position
But worse than that was that I found
Someone had been here before me
The loo roll was fitted the wrong way round!
The bins hadn’t been emptied
The dirty dishes not cleared away
I was finding lots of things wrong
As I walked round the house on that day
Someone had drunk the last of the milk
In the bread-bin there was only a crust
I had to find out who was doing these things
And uncover the perpetrator I must!
Who was it that left their keys in the door?
And failed to shut the windows last night?
Where have these dirty foot-prints come from?
And who forgot to switch off the light?
I must do some basic detective work
Before I rush to call in Scotland Yard
There’s evidence all over the place
I’m sure that it can’t be that hard
I already have my suspicions
Of who left all that mess on the mat
I really hate to point fingers
But I’m guessing it must be the cat
The only problem with these theories
The thing that doesn’t hold any water
Is there’s no motive or opportunity
Nothing hangs together like it ought to
No, I’ll just have to face up to facts
Which any amateur sleuth would soon see
Now that I’m living all on my own
Means the criminal just has to be …me!
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