The Staff

The Staff

I’m a very busy man these days,

Working twenty-four seven earning a dime -

I’d like to do so many things,

But I simply don’t have the time.

I don’t have a minute unoccupied:

There are books un-read upon my shelf,

So I get others to do things for me,

That I can’t get round to myself.

Mrs Clegg comes in to do the ironing,

With folding and creasing she’s got the nous -

She drops things off at the dry-cleaner’s,

And there’s another lady cleaning the house.

Her husband is outside, doing the garden:

He’s here early, from when the day dawns,

And he’s still here in the evening

In order to get finished the lawns.

I have all the groceries delivered,

Because there’s no chance to nip to the shop -

It keeps the local economy going,

For my life never seems to stop.

My accountant does my all my tax returns,

To make sure the figures aren’t funny -

I don’t get chance to look at the papers -

I’m far too busy just earning the money.

I use people with the right expertise,

For being wealthy that’s a great perk.

I get things done professionally -

Like the government, I outsource the work.

The girl next door does the baby-sitting,

And a lady comes round to walk the dog.

I find that the task just takes far too long,

And I don’t have time to go out for a jog.

I’ve got a subscription at the gym,

But it takes far too long going there,

So my trainer does the exercise for me,

Well – it saves on all the wear and tear.

I record everything that’s on the TV,

And I’ve got a huge collection of CDs.

I’m using some-one to listen to them for me,

Then to make a start on the box-set DVDs.

  

I have a faithful old house-keeper too:

She makes the beds, and in the evening she cooks,

And, because I’ve simply no time for leisure,

She’s reading her way through my books.

You can employ someone to do anything,

Provided that you’re happy to pay.

For example, I can’t take a break from my work,

So I’ve got a young chap taking my holiday.

It saves all the time of travelling -

He’s relaxing in the Caribbean sun.

I’ve given him plenty of money to spend,

To make sure he enjoys all of my fun.

You see – I’ve got everything sorted!

My life is organised very fine -

I just wish that I was able to enjoy it,

But I simply don’t have the time!

Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2019